picking up litter with søren kierkegaard

Picking up on knowledge, reality, and existence, I’m aware that to many onlookers who see me picking up litter either think it’s lowly or pointless. Personally, this is the most authentic sense of being I’ve ever felt. I recognized a parallel of my experience, which has evolved over several decades, to something I recently learned about some of Kierkegaard’s ideas. (With gratitude to Peter Rollins for his reflection on Kierkegaard via Patreon and Instagram.)

The Aesthetic Stage or The Tragic Hero

There was a time that I wanted to achieve; to achieve for external rewards and recognition. The high salary, the job title, the status… the idea that I had finally “made it.” Ambition and drive.

The Ethical Stage or The Knight of Infinite Resignation

Then, whether I achieved anything or not, it was never enough. Even success became a failure. And becoming aware of this led to a necessary transformation, accepting and embracing the impossibility. In a stoic sense, my actions became less concerned with my personal achievements and further motivated in social responsibility; because it’s “the right thing,” whether it makes a difference or not.

The Religious Stage or The Knight of Faith

And just beyond this sense of resignation, there is a peace. With grace, or radical acceptance, I let go. I let go of the external rewards or recognition and achievements. I let go of saving the world despite the hopelessness. And now, I embrace the lack. I give it all up. Authentically, meaning and purpose are surprisingly more fulfilling. Passing a grove of trees the other day, on a walk to pick up litter, I felt something bigger than me. A swell of tears, tears of joy.